Letter to Celestial Seasonings
An avid tea drinker and writer, I've consumed your tea (often while working) for more than a decade. My tea-of-choice varies, though I tend to drink your caffeinated and savory teas more frequently than fruity/zinger teas. Recently, I purchased two new boxes: Raspberry Zinger and your FRUIT Sampler, to make sun tea (I've recently moved to Arizona) for myself and my new husband. When I opened the box of Raspberry Zinger, I recalled fondly one strange evening eight years ago when I opened a box of the same, and, finding its colorful illustration so brilliantly absurd (a winged cup of tea with a lightning bolt emerging from it! a floating raspberry!) I clipped and glued it to my journal. So naturally, I thought to myself, 'Track down that journal and compare the graphics!' The image has evolved. Before, there was one lightning bolt, with two yellow stripes inside, but now the winged teacup is 'zinged' by two bolts, containing one yellow stripe each. This central zingy cup is surrounded by four other winged but unzinged teacups. Why don't they have bolts? Are they waiting to receive theirs? What *are* those bolts, anyway? Do they hurt? Are they dangerous? Edgy? Exciting? What adjectives can Celestial Seasonings give me to describe the bolts? For simplicity, I'll refer to them as 'zinger bolts' from here on out. I am highly intrigued by the differences between the FRUIT Sampler cover and the images on individual packaging of the different teas inside. For instance, the Raspberry Zinger image on the box cover is the same as the new image on the regular Raspberry Zinger tea box-- but when one opens the Sampler box and removes the Raspberry Zinger packet, the image on its cover is *the same as the old picture*--ie, it has one zinger bolt, with two yellow stripes inside. Additionally, on the box cover, the Tangerine Orange Zinger shows a delightful image of a cup and saucer suspended in air by (what I assume are) hot air balloon-like tangerines. I'll call them tangh'airoons. The box cover shows the tangh'airoon on the right being hit by--or receiving energy from, perhaps-- two zinger bolts. But open the box, remove the Tangerine Orange Zinger packet, and find that the positioning of the tangh'airoons has changed and that there are *no* zinger bolts to be found. But the most baffling to me of all is Cranberry Apple Zinger. Now, I've never tasted this tea--in fact, now that I think of it, I should set some sun tea up right now. Gentle reader, on the FRUIT Sampler box, a demure woman, profiled, holds a small basket as ribbons blow from her hat. She gazes at a lake, edged by three other baskets. Am I meant to presume the baskets are filled with apples and cranberries? She's standing near a tree and near what could be a bush with impressively large berries the size of apples. In any event, two zinger bolts come down from the sky. One lands in the lake--oops! And the other hits the largest of three baskets. I wonder what this woman is thinking. Does she see zinger bolts all the time? Does she know what they represent? Is she frightened? Is she thinking, 'Shit, I spent all that time gathering that fruit and now that damned zinger bolt has ruined it all...'? I apologize, I've gotten carried away. But look inside the box at the separate package for Cranberry Apple Zinger. *Now* the two zinger bolts fall upon apples--or some genetically engineered cranberries--in the foreground, and instead of three baskets edging the lake we have two slim and very upright men carrying one barrel, facing away from us, and the woman still gazing out over it all. Maybe you did that so she'd have something different to look at, but I'm left wondering 'Why, Why, Why,' you see, and I'm left to pick up the pieces by myself. I guess that everything can change during the time
it takes to open a box and find the correct packet of tea. Maybe Celestial
Seasonings is trying, in a subtle way, to reflect our society's instantaneous
changes and confounding contradictions. Perhaps this is one small
way in which tea can be political. But Celestial Seasonings, what
does the Zinger Bolt mean and what is its history? What is the Cranberry
Apple Zinger woman really thinking? Who are the people in the Country
Peach Passion picture, and are they conducting an illicit affair?
Will you make a tea called 'Zinger Zinger Zinger?' I'd like that very
much. Sincerely,
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